So I Did It Again...

I honestly dont know whats wrong with me. I start blogging and I want to do it daily but then I act up again. But my life since...I have gone to Spring Break and it was fun I got to see Darrius and spend 11 days with him. I havent seen him in 3 years and I swear it felt like we just picked up where we left off. I missed that kid so much and I was happy I got to spend his birthday with him. Just spending time with him brought me back but not too far back lol. But yeah went to the movies, the beach the mall. And mind you I was in the hood of Miami so I was playing Suvivor and I won lol. But yeah Im going to try to keep up with blogging!!! I miss this thing, if it counts for anything Im keeping up with a journal. O man pray for me lol

You Thought....

You think Ive forgotten about you,

You think I have moved on,

You think I have a line of men at my door,

You think I don't love you,

You think I don't dream about you,

You think I don't stay up and think about you,

You think I'm here living without you here,

You think you were just a chapter in my book,

But what you don't know is:

I can never forget you,

I've tried to move on,

There isn't anyone at my door, and even if there was I would only open if you were knocking,

I love you more then you could ever imagine,

I lose sleep thinking only if it were different,

I'm only dying everyday that you aren't with me,

True, you were a chapter, but the thing is I want you to be my whole book.

Curiosity

Its already known that men don't understand women and women don't understand men. But if that was the case we wouldn't be so interested with the opposite sex.

• Lets say a young lady is attracted to a young man and the young man is obviously attracted to her. They spend ample amount of time with each other he takes her out to eat makes her bday as special as can be, cleans her car and is just oh so generous to her. And she does as much for him like buy him food take him places, make his bday as special as allowed because remember they are only friends. So with all this kindness and "extracurricular activity" one is bound to catch feelings and of course in this case its the girl who falls. So the girl battles with herself not to tell the friend because they're friendship is so rare and she doesn't want to ruin it. But then she says if they're truly friends what she tells him should affect the friendship in a negative way. So she tells him he listens and explains how he also likes her and how if he was looking for a girlfriend shes at the top of the list but he doesn't want to get into something and still try to do his own thing and hurt her and be a jerk. She accepts what is said and as predicted nothing changed. Lie they become closer friends but each knowing that's all it is.
• Here is where the confusion strikes...So 3 months pass when this incident occurred, and one day out the blue the young man says he needs to talk. So they talk and he explains how he doesn't want to hurt her and never intends to hurt her and so he is not going to hurt her. He explains how he is shyt and not someone to cry over. He says he's nothing special. He explains how they established in the beginning it wasn't going to be anything more then just a friendship. (sounds familiar). Now the young lady nods her head agrees with him just as she did 3 months ago. She is confused and doesn't understand why he would have to tell her again. Then she asks him has she been giving signals that she wanted more with him and he says no he was just making it clear but again, and he explains how a girl went over board with a boy and it upset him..she says okay and continues regular conversation because she is all confused...yea okay..
• So for me I had a few thoughts...I'm positive she wasn't the only girl he was talking so maybe he was feeling someone else but didn't really know how to tell her. Or maybe he was starting to like her more then he wanted to and he was scared so he had to remind himself by telling her again.

Till this day confusion is in the air. I really want to get why boys think the way they do. I cant even say I wish I was a mind reader to know what guys think because honestly they say what they mean and I still don't understand their logic. So yeah tell me what you think..

IM BACK!

LOL so i havent blogged in a very good while. Update on my life since we last took a peek in it...ummmmm Im in my 3rd year of college yay me! Um my boring school in the woods is filled with drama...makes life in the woods not so boring after all just as long as the drama isnt aimed towards me and my Goons lol. Um at the end of last semester there was drama in the house, and as much as I hate drama! I was naive to think a house full of girls there would be no drama. But in my defense it was really going well its just some people cant live without drama. No drama no life, its sad but the case is far from rare. But that got situated, well thats a lie, it got placed under the rug. Um Paitence is still around although a lil off (thats a blog in its self) but skoo is still fun, I have a really really good friend thats here, like my bestie (Not a Jeni but still qualifies) I call him Unit. He's too cool for skool and he also makes school a great place to be and Tanya my roomate also know is Ivory keeps me sane in this small @s$ apartment. I am seriously trying this blog thing this year because my brain has ran out of room. Since there is so much to say and I havent blogged in a while I will not overwhelm you with details all in one sitting and that way I can somewhat be consistant with my blogging. So take # 457382083...ACTION! 09 is just that year...

Its Never Enough

Its never enough to satisfy my parents. I think their dream is for me to live in a box inisde my house and sit there and make magical money and graduate skoo and get married and live with them forever like i understand what they want but they dont understand the sacrafices needed to made to get there and also I feel they keep forgetting IM YOUNG i make mistakes i learn from them i fall i get up why are they always trying to "protect" i understand how a parent wants the best for the child but you cant live my life for me you can give me advice but you have to let me decide on what i want to do. and everyone who knows me knows when you tell me i cnt do something my urge to do it grows very strong so dont tell me i cnt just tell me i shouldnt or you wouldnt advise it talk to me im human right. dont talk to me like a dog dont talk to me like im 5 years old if im speaking calmly then i dont see the need for you to yell like some wild monkey who got shot 3 times like its not necessary. Sigh* im done!

MAD LATE BUT BETTER THEN NEVER

SO I DEF TOOK MY BRACES AND THOUGHT IT MADE MORE SENSE TO TELL THE WORLD THROUGH TXT INSTEAD OF TELLING THE WORLD THRU BLOG!! SO YEAH NO MORE BRACE FACE IM SOO FREAKIN HAPPY BUT NOW 6 MONTHS OF THIS STUPID RETAINER THEN WILL I FEEL TRUE FREEDOM. I THINK THEYRE NICE BUT WHY DONT YOU BE THE JUDGE?

THERE"S A REASON....JUST WISH I KNEW WHY!

So yesterday I found out my grandfather passed away...like hes gone and im not gonna see him until Jesus comes back for us. I loved that man so much...like he wasnt in America for a year and you would think we grew up with each other thats how quickly we grew this strong bond. He was a friend. And just like that he was taken from me. Im happy he was in my life though. Better to have known him now I will be able to have memories of him for the rest of my life. He was full of wisdom and talk about a man of God. Yep that was him. Im happy my father got to speak him before past. My Grandfather had a stroke and lost his ability to speak and all he could say was mah mah. He was on the phone with my father and he was saying "mah mah" and just kept laughing. He was happy to hear my father. And then he passed away. I feel thats all he needed to hear before he died. I keep trying not to cry...i dont even know why i mean I know it happend but like everytime I talk about it I tear up. But I mean I have a right to I mean he was my friend. But sometimes they are just tears of joy. That man had me dying (bad choice of wording huh lol) ok, nah but he was such a character. Well I mean Im not mad he was able to see America and see things he has never seen got to spend time with many members of the family. I love you Papa. I am def going to miss you.